How to Handle a Bad Dive Buddy:
Safety, Etiquette & What to Say

Why It Matters

Scuba diving relies on trust. The buddy system is designed to keep divers safe through mutual support and redundancy. But not all buddies are created equal.

Let’s get one thing straight right away: being new does not make someone a bad buddy. Inexperience is not the same as irresponsibility. A new diver who asks questions, listens, checks gear carefully, and sticks to the plan is often a far better buddy than someone experienced who cuts corners or thinks they know better than everyone else.

Bad buddy behavior is not about certification level. It is about attitude, awareness, and accountability.

Recognizing Problem Behaviors

Bad buddy behavior is not about occasional slip-ups. It is about a pattern of disregard. Everyone forgets a signal or kicks up some silt now and then. The real problem is when someone shows they do not care, do not adapt, or make decisions that put others at risk.

• Ignoring hand signals or refusing to communicate. Misunderstandings are normal. Refusing to engage or respond to attempts at communication is not.
• Making unilateral changes to the dive plan. Depth, time, turn pressure, and route are agreed on for a reason. Ignoring those agreements without discussion breaks trust.
• Indifference to awareness errors. Losing track of time, depth, or heading can happen. Dismissing those issues or expecting you to manage them is a problem.
• Disregard for the environment or other divers. Silting the bottom, crowding marine life, or crashing into other people happens. Brushing it off or blaming others signals poor judgment.
• Skipping safety checks or rushing into the water. Mistakes in gear setup are common. Skipping buddy checks or refusing to slow down when asked is not acceptable.
• Dismissing feedback or safety concerns. Brushing off your input or treating caution as overreaction is a major red flag.

It is not about being perfect. It is about showing that you take safety, communication, and the dive plan seriously.

Immediate Dive-Day Strategies

• Insist on a buddy check. If they resist, it is a red flag. Do it yourself if needed.
• Agree on key signals and turn points. Keep it short and simple: max depth, time, and pressure.
• Watch their prep. You can often spot problems before the dive even starts.
• Stay conservative. Consider adjusting your dive plan to account for distraction or uncertainty.
• Be ready to call the dive. You are never obligated to continue a dive that feels unsafe. Abort early if needed.

Your safety does not depend on politeness.

What to Say: Diplomacy Without Compromise

Many bad buddies are not malicious. They are just cocky. They overestimate their skills, dismiss protocols, and assume their way is best. That is harder to confront than a simple mistake because confidence masks risk. And people like that rarely ask for feedback. If they do ask how the dive went, be tactful but honest. It is rare that someone like this wants to hear criticism, but sugarcoating real safety issues does no one any favors.

• Before the dive: “Let’s make sure we’re aligned on the plan. I’ve seen dives go sideways when buddies weren’t on the same page.”
• If they go rogue underwater: “I wasn’t expecting that route change. Can we talk through changes together next time before making them?”
• If their behavior felt unsafe: “That last ascent was a little fast for me. I’d rather keep it controlled and closer to our planned rate.”

If they react poorly, that tells you all you need to know. Some people will never change. You do not need to dive with them again.

Post-Dive Decisions

• Log the issues. Not to shame them, but to record patterns for future decisions.
• Give honest but measured feedback. If they ask how it went, be truthful but tactful.
• Decide whether to dive with them again. One bad dive can be a fluke. Repeated issues are a reason to decline.
• Request a different buddy. Most operators will honor this, especially if you phrase it around compatibility or safety.

You do not need to make a scene. You just need to make a choice.

A Personal Story

I have had my share of bad buddies. Most were just mismatches, essentially poor communication, different dive styles, or lack of awareness. But there is only one I have flat-out refused to dive with again.

He claims to have nearly 1000 dives over 20 years. He should know better. But he was cocky far beyond his skill. Always rushing, easily frustrated, and constantly blaming his gear or the people around him. On the dive that sealed the deal for me, he left the team without warning. We thought he was dead. We surfaced early, scanned the water, and were preparing to start a rescue. Then he popped up, totally confused why we were upset. “I still had plenty of air left,” he said.

That is not just annoying. It is dangerous. And that is the line. If someone consistently puts themselves or others at risk and refuses to take responsibility, you do not owe them another chance. You owe yourself safety and peace of mind.

What If You Are the Problem?

• Are you brushing off feedback or making decisions without discussion?
• Are you hard to follow, hard to talk to, or just charging ahead with your own plan?
• Do you treat new divers as liabilities instead of partners?

The best way to tell if you are the one being the ass?

Ask yourself: Am I thinking more about myself or my buddy?

If the answer is not your buddy, it is time to do better. The fix is not complicated. Start by being humble. Communicate clearly. And recognize that what feels normal to you might actually be risky. That is how normalization of deviance works. You stop noticing. You assume you know better. That is exactly when things go wrong.

The best dive buddies are not perfect. They are calm, aware, and easy to work with. Be that person.